Yo.

[xp_velocidad]

So, uh, hey. I live here now. Someone insisted I use this to introduce myself to everyone, since this is a thing that people here apparently do. And I figured, why not, because it's the neighborly thing to do.

My name's Gabriel Cohuelo. Just moved in here today, making the long trek from Queens out to the country. (This is the country.) Long story. Not a very interesting one, if you ask me.

I'm 5'10, very charming and resourceful, or at least so I've been told. Also, I make a mean cocktail, but I have to see some ID first.

While we're doing this, might as well ask: Johnny, my new roommate, already given me the skinny about the fish boy in the lake. Anything else I should know about?

Comments

[x-adrienne.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the mansion, Mr. Cohuelo. I'm Adrienne Frost. I teach math here.

Fish boy in the lake, check. How about the boy made out of bees? The girl who has to be weighted down or else she floats away?

[x-velocidad.livejournal.com]

Nice to meet you.

...getting the sinking feeling that none of this is real, and you're all fucking with me.

[x-adrienne.livejournal.com]

You don't know us very well yet, but trust me. We would never, ever fuck with you. We're not that kind of people.

[x-tarot.livejournal.com]

No, Cammie Black got rid of the boy made of bees. We were all very grateful to her. He was awful.

[x-adrienne.livejournal.com]

Oh right, that was during the time I died- no wait people have actually done that here got run out of town by the manipulative, sadistic maniacs in the Hellfire Club who decided to target everyone at the mansion if I didn't do their bidding... oh wait was turned into a clarinet for six months by that mutant who could turn people into musical instruments but couldn't figure out how to turn them back, wasn't it?

[x-blink.livejournal.com]

Yo, welcome to Xavier's. We already chatted downstairs.

Nah, the fish boy's probably it. Well, him and the slight tendency for demons.

[x-velocidad.livejournal.com]

We did! Thanks for nursing me back to health or whatever.

And I've got more than enough demons of my own to add to the mix, I promise.

[x-blink.livejournal.com]

no no, these aren't personal demons.

these are the kind that will eat your face for a snack.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Don't let Clarice fool you, man, the demons are NO LAUGHING MATTER. They're damn annoying!

I'm Matt.

[x-velocidad.livejournal.com]

Hoo boy.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

look, Queens, this might be the country, but you don't gotta mock!

[x-firestar.livejournal.com]

Guys forget it, nobody believes the demons are real until they see them for themselves.

Give it six months, I'm sure there'll be a demon invasion or two to prove it.

Also hello! I'm Angel, and I can light myself on fire. It seems noteworthy.

Welcome!

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Accurate.

[x-velocidad.livejournal.com]

That does seem noteworthy. And useful. I bet you're fun to go camping with.

[x-firestar.livejournal.com]

I am the BEST person to go camping with. Because A) You don't have to build a fire because I'm basically a walking heater B) I can roast marshmallows for you (perfectly evenly!) and C) there's no risk of a forest fire.

Smokey the Bear wishes everyone had one of me.

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Don't I know you?

[x-velocidad.livejournal.com]

Oh lord, is this where the "I told you so" that you've been holding in for, like, a month comes out?

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Some of us are better than that. I'm just going to smile and wave.

[x-tarot.livejournal.com]

You are also very pretty. I am a little drunk. It has been a not very fun week.

I am Marie-Ange Colbert, and I used to live there but now I don't and I live in New York but not in Queens and I see the future a little bit.

My future right now is more drinks and less autopdy reports.

[x-velocidad.livejournal.com]

I am! So are you! Compliments all around!

Hooray for drinking, boo for autopsy reports. I know better than to ask.

[x-tarot.livejournal.com]

Also boo for hangovers. You would think I would know better than to drink and not have water but no, I am not clever last night.

[x-invisiblegirl.livejournal.com]

Hi there Gabriel, I'm Sue. I turn invisible so I'm never sure if I'm here or not. I think I may just be one of the ghosts that haunts the mansion.

Enjoy your stay here

[x-velocidad.livejournal.com]

That must be confusing, but really, what does it mean to be anywhere, anyway?

Nice to meet you!

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

Since I did my usual thing where I just have random conversations in a thread without actually introducing myself to a new mansion person...

Hi. I'm Doug Ramsey, I work at the Snow Valley Memorial Centre For People of Questionable Moral Fibre And Other Words Ending in -re When British People Spell Them. I'm the IT monkey for both the centre and the mansion (I theoretically get paid by the first, but do the second pro bono), so if you need help with your computer, I'm probably your guy.

Since Lorna's on vacation, does that mean I can steal the 'welcome to the madhouse' line?

[x-velocidad.livejournal.com]

I do not know who Lorna is, but you do you, man.

Wait, how do I get reassigned to the center with all the other people of dubious character? That was not in the pamphlet.